Been a while....but much to tell about...

Wow, so its definitely been quite a long time since I've written here. Mainly because I've been insanely busy in a number of areas and so even trying to find time to write in here is tough.

So really quick a number of updates about me:

*Work is going really well but getting very challenging. The spacecraft that I'm working on has now arrived and is going through preliminary testing currently. We start spacecraft integration in about 2 weeks and i'm excited for it. I've grown more comfortable with fast-paced atmosphere at my job and have hit my stride, but I'm still waiting to smack into the next wall, which I believe will inevitably come once I am in the cleanroom working and talking to the satellite.

*I still work part-time at Skyventure Colorado and that's still awesome....most of the time. I have also noticed how stupid and just idiotic our society really turned out to be. I almost amazed sometimes. There will be a post about stupid questions there later.

*In a decision that came much sooner that I anticipated, I started Graduate School at the University of Colorado-Boulder. I am doing one class a semester right now, until i get probably half-way through the program. I am in their Corporate distance learning program, so I can either attend the class on campus (which is all of 7 minutes away from my job) or watch it online via live feed. I am working towards my Master of Science in Aerospace Engineering Sciences with a focus in Bioastronautics. I am currently enrolled in a class called "Space Physiology and Space Life Sciences" and it is really different and interesting in regards to Aerospace matters. I am contemplating a Ph.D in this as well, as the professor of my class was an astronaut candidate finalist in '98 and 2000 and he is someone I want to be my advisor/mentor. So far, grad school is way better than undergrad and I think it will continue that way....hopefully.

*I recently got signed to a new modeling company here in Denver called Shades Model Management. I have my first runway show as a Male Model on Wednesday January 30th, and I'm very excited about it.

As you can see, I have been blessed with several unique and excited opportunities and am enjoying life right now. Even though it may seem like I'm constantly busy, but I actually do still have time to go out and have fun with friends and do all the awesome things that Colorado brings.
I can't believe that I've been here almost 8 months and 10 months out of Michigan. I wake up everyday and it feels almost surreal, but loving every minute of it.

I also love being to go on vacation and leave and buy a plane ticket when I want to. I went to Las Vegas last weekend and it was fucking amazing. I'll post pics of that later.

Until next time...which will be sooner rather than later....

Carl

One Year Ago....

So for awhile, nothing special has been really happening. Everything in my life is finally starting to settle and I'm getting used to corporate life and everything.



However, that's not what this post is about. This post will be one of the hardest things I've done, not because of any experience from here, but because of the nature of an event that happened on Oct. 23rd, 2006. The above picture is Me, My friends Josh, Brad, and Chris after a skydive last summer. I lost my friend Josh last October.

One of the best friends that I could ask for left and passed away one year ago on the date above. He involved in a landing accident while skydiving. He was a very experienced jumper (over 2000+ jumps) but one day, misread an advanced maneuver he was trying to do and hit the ground pretty hard. He ended up in the hospital during the month of September and was progressing and getting better. I was scheduled to fly out to see him, thanks to another good friend - Rob DeLeon - who bought the plane ticket for me. The flight was supposed to leave on Oct. 24th, right before the Compulsive Lyres were supposed to go to Chicago to sing.

Anyways, one day his condition started getting worse and he developed an infection where he started leaking spinal fluid. His condition from that point only worsened and his girlfriend and his parents knew that he did not want to live that way. (He would've been a vegetable for the rest of his life). So they decided to pull him off life support. Meanwhile back in Ann Arbor at Briarwood Mall, I was with the Lyres guys looking for new shirts and I got a phone call from Kristen. Now I had been in direct contact with her from the very day of his accident all through the recovery and even up to this point. However, the news I got was not something I wanted to hear. She told me that any minute now that his parents were going to pull him life support and Josh would slip away. He was slowly getting more sleepy and was already dying. I really hope no one ever feels what I felt at that moment. I pleaded asking them to wait one more day so i could get there, but they said that would be too late. So Kristen told me that she would hold the phone to his ear so I could say my goodbye to him.....

This was quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life thus far. I tried to stay as positive as possible, saying things that would make him laugh and that I know would put a smile on his face. It took me about 10 minutes to say goodbye, but I did and hung out the phone. As I did, I walked back into the mall with a shocked look on my face, and just collapsed on the ground as the guys came rushing over to check on me. I didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I just wanted to go home. I hung out with the realization that my friend had just died and that I would never see him again.

Now its over one year later and I'm out in Colorado. Some days I think about everything he taught me and all the fun we had and other days, its hard not to cry. I know he's watching over me though, and one day I'll get to jump with him again. I have kept in contact with his mom and other family members and his girlfriend too....i think they appreciate me talking to them, and vice versa.

I'll close with this....whoever you know and as cliche as this will sound, everyone you care about, whether its friends, family, whoever...go and spend time with them and tell them you love them. You never know when the last time you hang out or go visit, really will be the last time. Josh and I hung out all summer and he was going to help me start training for my different skydiving instructor certifications. I am still going after those, but I just have to do it without his help.

Seriously, tell those you care about, how much you care. Realize how strong your friendships are with people.

I never want anyone to ever be in the situation that I or Josh's family was in with anyone.

Take care everyone....

Sense of accomplishment

(I hope this post makes sense.....had alot going on, so forgive me if it seems random)

So if you were reading my previous posts, I had taken a trip out to California to support one of the launch campaigns for my company. It was for the Worldview 1 satellite that we have been working on for quite a few years. Worldview actually launched on Sept. 18th @ 12:35 pm MDT. As I sat in one of our auditoriums at work with my friends and everyone else, I couldn't help but feel pretty damn proud and also amazed as the Delta II rocketed towards space.

As an intern here, I had the chance to participate in Integration & Testing for Worldview II. The brilliance of this spacecraft was alot to take in while it sat 10 feet away in the cleanroom during testing. I had a chance to work with the Attitude Determination & Controls System extensively and it increased my overall knowledge of the satellite system as a whole. While I watched Worldview being carried into space, it hit me that I had actually helped with the testing of this "Next Generational Digital Imaging" Spacecraft. That all the work I had done previously now made sense and that the work I had done (though insignificant compared to other engineers) was still a part in the success of this preliminary part of its mission.

I say preliminary because getting it to space is the first step. If you can't communicate with the damn thing, then the whole project goes to shit. And we were communicating with it about 1 hours and 42 minutes after launch, so all was going well.

Everything I had done up until that point, the testing, the long days and nights, the writing of code and test procedures that just seemed to go on and on, the staying up from 12 am - 9 am every day for 3 weeks out in Vandenburg while the Battery went through its autonomous conditioning cycle, EVERYTHING had been worth it to see it get to intended location in a Polar Orbit over earth. It was all worth it and I've been working with or alongside others who were working on it since my first internship here in 2004 and now to graduate from college and be sent out to a launch site (which is incredibly rare for someone with my limited experience and position), well that was an amazing opportunity. I felt as if I had watched the entire project from beginning to end and it felt pretty good, even if I didn't as much to do with it compared to others.

I know that my day will come though. I also got an award for my 1 year anniversary of cumulative service here at Ball which isn't that big of deal but nice that they recognized it.

Anyways, now its time to focus on the next project - Worldview II. This is going to be just like the first one, but much larger and with the same resolution (.5 meter) but bigger camera. For this one, I'll be working on the Electrical Power & Distribution System along with the Thermal & Electro-Mechanical Subsystem. I'm not exactly sure what all that entails, but that's what I'm currently learning. This satellite is expected to launch in Winter of 2009 and this time, I'll be in Vandenburg for the entire 3 months preparation up until the actual day of launch.

If I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment after Worldview I, I can't even imagine what I'm going to feel after we launch Worldview II. I'll also have the cool jacket, polo, bag, shirt, pin, and everything else to match with the WV II logo on it.

Being that close to a launch was definitely the coolest things I've ever been able to experience. I felt more pride and learned more from my work on that project and from my current project on WV II, than i've ever learned or had in school. One thing I'm learning is that school, Michigan especially, teaches you how to multi-task and handle stress and different jobs at once. The types of things I've learned in Vandenberg and on the job and that my leads and co-workers have taught me, can't be mimicked or learned in a classroom. Am I saying that college is worthless? Absolutely not. It does give you the knowledge to succeed in your field of study, however, the real experiences you gain and learn from can only be acquired from the stuff you actually have to face day-to-day in the Real World. From there, the real accomplishment will come from knowing that what you've gone through and experienced hasn't been in vain but yet is a stepping stone or building block to the next level of your life.

If you would like to view the launch of our spacecraft or view pictures of it while in Vandenberg getting ready for launch, you can go to the link below. I will be posting pictures from colorado and other travels next week as well.

http://www.digitalglobe.com/worldview-1_launch.html

The Trip

Sorry again for the delay in updates, but there is a reason and it will have to do with this post.

On August 17th, I walked into work like it was a normal friday. I was pumped because it was the weekend and we were getting paid. My mentor comes up to me and I had previously told him that I was interested in traveling with the group when possible. He said he would pass it on to my manager and whoever else. With my project specifically, I know that I will be going to launch sites at Air Force Bases and other places too in the future. That's exactly when I thought my chance to travel would come.....much later in the future.

My lead, who is also a good friend of mine, also was trying to get me to do some travel to launch sites for a few projects so that I could get the experience. Well, Paul walks up to my desk and asks if I was still interested in traveling and of course I answer yes. Right now we are getting ready to launch a satellite called Worldview I out of Vandenberg Air Force Base in Southern California and he asked if I would be interested in going. I immediately smiled and exclaimed "YES DEFINITELY!!"

Then he says, "Great, glad to hear it.....your plane leaves at 7 pm tonight."

...........................................i'm sorry, say what now?

So another colleague of mine was leaving to go out tonight too and the program manager requested me to come out too to help. Paul and I sat down and tried to iron out leaving on saturday or sunday, but it wasn't doable with the tickets. So, in a whirlwind of about an hour and 15 minutes, we applied for my corporate credit card, booked my flight roundtrip, booked a hotel room, rental car, received travel insurance, got accepted for overtime and travel expenses, and applied for a clearance pass at Vandenberg through United Launch Alliance. Needless to say I was a bit overwhelmed, not to mention they were letting me leave at 12 pm to go home and pack.

I really had no clue what was really happening, but I followed orders and went home to wash clothes and pack. Luckily the dress as casual, so that made it easy. I was driven to the airport by one of my friends and I proceeded to Santa Barbara for a 2.5 week business trip to help support the Worldview I launch from Vandenberg. The entire trip itself was amazing. Normally someone as young as me (as far as time with company and position) doesn't get this chance, so I was very grateful. The one thing I had to get used to was that a launch operation is a continuous 24 hour process and I had work the 3rd shift from 12 am - 8 am every day. So things were a little backwards, but I still liked being out there. It was cool to be on an Air Force Base everyday next to the beach and to know that I'm contributing to the successful Sept. 18th launch of Worldview.

I took some pics and will upload them next week at some point. The experience as a whole was exhausting but well worth it. I saw another launch that wasn't ours at 3 am one night. I learned about another whole aspect of my job that hadn't been previously introduced to me and as usual I learned a crapload from all my co-workers and friends out there with me. It was kind of cool being in another place and basically having everything already paid for, even drinks. I didn't get to spend alot of free time due to me trying to sleep during the day, but I know I'll be back there in another year for the launch of Worldview II and this time, I'll be one of the main Test Engineers there for 2 months. All in all, even though the trip came as a surprise and I was really unprepared for it, I acclimated and got settled into the schedule. The entire trip seemed surreal because of the realization of my first official business trip. It made me feel good that my work was trusted enough and counted enough to be asked to come out and help support an aspect of the preparation for launch.

As I speak, they are only about another 2 weeks away from launch. Much like my time out here in Colorado has, my job is even capable (as I saw) of throwing curve balls out of the blue. I've learned to just go with it though and gain as much as I can from each experience thrown my way. I'm here to work and prove myself as a capable Test Engineer for my program, and with my mentor and other colleagues around me who are willing to guide and help me, my path through the workforce is still unknown, but not as dark anymore. Here are two pictures I took with my phone before I found out we could take regular pictures. This is the satellite sitting sideways on the Three-axis positioner or TAP. This week it is going through fueling and being put into the Delta II faring. This will be a Global Digital Imaging Satellite.



Here is a picture of the Delta II Launch Vehicle that Worldview I will be housed in for launch. They have a bunch of Launch Towers at Vandy, so this is one of them that just happened to have a Delta II on it...

So when do we buy books??

Sorry I haven't been in here in a bit, it's been a little crazy at work, as my entire department picked up and moved to a totally different building. This was my 2nd move in a month, but hopefully I'll be here for a bit.

I've gotten into the habit of going to the gym at 6 am now, which is awesome. While I was there today, I looked at the newspaper and there was a picture of a girl with like 7 textbooks at Univ. of Denver bookstore. They were talking about book prices (as they do this time every year). I wasn't as concerned about the article as I as with the picture. As everything has lately, it is slowly hitting me that I'm not returning to school, that this isn't an internship anymore and I don't have to worry about packing and leaving. Shouldn't I have realized this before now? Probably. But it's a bit different now. For 5 years, twice (or more) a year, I spent $400 - $650 on books for classes that we sometimes didn't even use. It became a ritual, and then a few days or after welcome week, we would start class and the settling back into the college lifestyle would begin again.

Now, it felt really odd that I don't have to worry about buying books. Honestly my brain was thrown off a bit. It had become so conditioned as a part of my life that now that I don't have to do it, my brain feels like something is wrong. Kind of related in a way, I got a call last week from my lead that I have a performance review coming up. Yeah....I've been here for like a month and some weeks, but I'm getting a review. Ok cool...no big deal. In my company's terms, with the internship time and now, as of this upcoming Sept. 30th, I will have been here for a year. So maybe that's the reason, but otherwise I'm not sure. With the notion of not having to buy books and this "review" coming up, my full-time lifestyle is setting. No longer will I be judged based on grades or projects or papers or will I cram in order to "show" that I know what I'm doing. Now I get a review and my performance is a reflection not only of just myself, but of my colleagues, my team, my department and the company itself. There is alot more riding on this now. At the same time, I don't have to worry about an "honor code" or anything of that nature. Now everyone works together and if you have a great idea and it works, people are happy to pass it on. They won't report me to my professor (boss) for copying like people do in college.

I guess this is all just another big part of my life. The last thing I'm dealing with is uncertainty. All throughout life, we were always conditioned to know what was coming next. From elementary to middle, from middle to high school, and from high school, hopefully to college. There was an order and even while in college, we had a syllabus to tell us what and when stuff was planned. Now, I go to work and do things that I know need to be done, but am not really sure of what will come or happen next. There is no exams to signify the end of the semester and to show that you're moving on. That part of my life now makes me a bit anxious because I have no idea what is going to happen (well, to a point), but I'm along for the ride and it's been good so far, so lets keep it going.

All in all, I guess that's just part of the transition from one point to the next. The uncertainty about the future and the adjustment of working for self to now working for a team, in addition to yourself.